


Somebody Else

by ChocolateCoveredCannolis



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 01:15:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12948153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocolateCoveredCannolis/pseuds/ChocolateCoveredCannolis
Summary: You and Sonny were friends. At least you thought so until a few weeks ago..





	Somebody Else

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to Carisiismyhomeboy and Do-Me-Carisi for all their help with this one. It's one that I've been working on for awhile. I hope you guys like it!

Nothing could take the smile off of your face. Not today. You were on your way to meet Sonny for lunch. You were actually on the way to his precinct since he’d been working really hard on a tough case lately. It was the only time he could see you this week, and you needed to see him. Needed to talk about what happened, and more importantly,  _ why  _ it happened.

Over the past few weeks your friendship had taken a turn. The two of you were always pretty close as friends. Not exactly best friends, but close. You didn’t need to see each other and hang out, but you would trust Sonny with anything. Sonny assured you of the same. The two of you had a rhythm, and it was enough for you. At least until two weeks ago.

Sonny had invited you out with the squad. You were supposed to just go out for dinner, but they had just won a major case and were going out to celebrate. He had never invited you out with them before--your hangouts were mostly one-on-one. You were intrigued. Sonny had told you so much about them, it would be great to finally put faces to all the names. Besides, you hadn’t had a night out in awhile, you needed to unwind. 

The night itself was pretty fun. You got along well with the squad, but that was no surprise. You had heard so much about them, it was like you knew them already. Still, it was nice to hear all the stories about Noah and Jessie from Liv and Rollins. Fin and Barba were great too, they were even more hilarious than you had imagined. Throughout the night you had caught Sonny staring at you just a little too long. It was here and there, but it was lingering for sure. You hadn’t thought anything of it, but he had definitely not looked at you that way before. The time went by quickly, and soon it was just you and Sonny left at the bar. 

Now that it was just the two of you, you felt that easy silence you often shared. You rested your head on his shoulder. He had his arm around you, lightly stroking your arm. You were extremely comfortable cuddled up against him. The alcohol had taken its’ effect, but you wouldn’t have felt this at ease if it wasn’t Sonny. Pulling away slightly, you broke the silence first.

“It’s getting late, we should probably go home.”

Sonny didn’t say anything. His piercing blue eyes were locked with yours. Time seemed to stand still. In one smooth movement his hand cupped your face and his lips came crashing over yours. You were caught off guard, but you kissed him back. His tongue danced over your lips, inviting you to kiss him deeper. Sonny’s hands found their way to the hem of your shirt, tugging ever so lightly at it. As quick as it started, it stopped, Sonny moved back slightly. You were suddenly hyper-aware that you were in public. This time it was Sonny that spoke first.

“That was…” He ran his hand through his hair. You backed up a little further.

“Yeah…” You nodded and grabbed your purse. “We should get going…” 

Sonny cleared his throat.

“Yeah, yeah, definitely.” 

The two of you left the bar and made your own ways home, not speaking about what happened. Something had definitely changed between you two. 

Since that night, all you could think about was what happened. A drunken makeout is a drunken makeout, but that was something else. The looks he gave you. The feel of his lips against yours. These thoughts came rushing through your mind. You had never really thought of Sonny in that way before, but had he thought of you that way?

Yes, he was pretty attractive, but that wasn’t what you admired about him. His heart and humanity despite seeing the worst in people all day--that was what you liked about him. Yet now… could he be something more than just your close friend? 

It had been on your mind for weeks. Trying to think of examples of his intentions was starting to stress you out. It was past the border of over-thinking, but instead of going over every major moment between you two, you were determined to find some answers today. Not talking about it was not working for you, and you were planning on bringing it up today at lunch. Maybe even try and find out how he actually felt about you. 

So lost in your thoughts, you didn’t see Rollins until you walked right into her on the precinct steps.

“Whoa, watch it there, girl!” Rollins laughed, and you couldn’t help but laugh yourself. “What’re you doing here?”

“I am  _ so _ sorry, Amanda! I didn’t see you there!” Thankfully, you hadn’t dropped your food. “I’m meeting Sonny for lunch!”

“It’s alright! I’ll forgive you if you leave me some of that.” She pointed to your food. You grinned.

“I’ll leave you a plate at your desk!” You winked as you walked up the rest of the steps into the precinct. 

Nervousness crept over you, but you shook it off as you walked towards Sonny’s desk. He smiled at you, looking exhausted. It was no surprise, he had mentioned working late hours on this particularly tough case lately, but it was nice to know he still could spare a smile for you. You placed the bag on the table.

“Veal parm sandwich! Just like you ordered!”   


“Thanks Doll, you’re the best! I hope you don’t mind eating here.” Sonny pulled you into a hug. His hugs were always comforting, his strong chest and arms never failed to make you feel at home. 

Without meaning to, you took in his scent for the first time. It’s like you’ve always known his scent, but you’d never really paid attention. That faint hint of sweat mingled in with cedarwood and bergamot. You sat down at his desk. 

“Of course I don’t mind. It’s nice to see where you work,” You pulled out the sandwiches and set them up. “Besides, you need to eat.” Sonny took a big bite out of his sandwich. 

“Doll, I could always eat.”  Or at least that’s what you thought you heard, it was hard to decipher Sonny when he had his mouth full.

It was a good thing that you had food, because trying to find an opening to bring up your feelings was hard. You let Sonny take the lead with the conversation; him talking about his workload was better than the inevitable word vomit you were going to unleash on him. Besides, it was nice to take in the details of Sonny eating. It’s like you had never seen him eat before. Even the way he wiped the corners of his mouth after every few bites seemed endearing to you. The last bites of your sandwich remained, and you still hadn’t said anything of what you had wanted.

Swirling your straw in your soda, you were about to say something when Sonny let out a huge burp. The two of you burst out into laughter so loud, you were surprised no one told you to shut up. You did catch Fin rolling his eyes at you in your peripheral. You hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time, tears were coming out of your eyes. Suddenly, Sonny’s laughter stopped. It was so abrupt, it snapped you out of your own laughter. He was looking towards the elevator.

“Wha--” you started to say, until you saw Sonny’s face. It was enough to stop you, not that you thought he had heard you, the way he was gazing. His face lit right up, in a way not even the sun could. His eyes softened. He simultaneously looked so serious and handsome. You couldn’t help but stare at him, though it was as if you didn’t exist. 

A well-dressed woman in a black trench coat was walking into the precinct. Her hair was perfectly pulled back into a plait, not a single one out of place. She had her hands in her pockets as she walked towards Sonny’s desk. All of his attention was on her. Wordlessly, he brushed by you and went towards her.

He pulled her into his arms, and placed a kiss on her forehead. Your heart sank right into your stomach. You were frozen in place, yet you wanted to be any place but here. All those weeks of agonizing how you had felt, how he had felt, yet clearly, however  _ he _ felt for you, it wasn’t anything like he seemed to feel for this woman.

You knew you had to get out of there. Hastily, you gathered your things, not bothering to even throw out the garbage from your lunch. You couldn’t move faster if you had wanted to, and tried to avoid Sonny and his ‘friend.’ You got inside the elevator, but Sonny must have seen you because you could hear him calling after you.

“Wait! Wait!”

Thankfully, the elevator had closed in front of you before Sonny could get in. You felt yourself relax a little bit, but the tears were already starting to form. You weren’t sure what you were feeling exactly. Was it rage? Was it sadness? Either way, the tears were the only things that made sense. 

As soon as the doors opened on the main floor, you shot out like a bat out of hell. You didn’t even see Sonny until you were down the steps and outside. You thought you had escaped him. He must have taken the stairs, damn his long legs. His hair was dishevelled, and there was a sheen on his forehead from the sweat.

“Stop! Stop!” he yelled out.

You bit down on your lip hard and tried to will the tears away. Sonny had caught up to you and placed a hand on your shoulder.

  
“Hey, you okay?” Bracing yourself, you turned around. 

“I’m fine, Sonny.” He saw the tears in your eyes and furrowed his brows.

“Obviously not, Doll.” Sonny seemed concerned. “Why’d you leave without saying goodbye?”

Something had snapped within you.

“I didn’t think you’d notice if I left.”  _ Stop, stop, stop.  _ “You seemed preoccupied.”  _ Too late _ .

“What? Of course I’d notice if you left! Why wouldn’t I?” He seemed genuinely confused.

“Why wouldn’t you? I don’t know, Sonny. You basically ignored me right when  _ she _ walked in.” Your voice was laced with venom, but you couldn’t help yourself. That seemed to set him off.

“What does she have to do with anything?!” He crossed his arms. His stance seemed awfully defensive for someone so confused.

“All I know is that one moment we were having a nice lunch, and the next moment it’s like I’m not even there!” You didn’t mean to sound so argumentative, but the words were flowing out.

“She’s just a friend!” He was shifting his weight from foot to foot, his arms still crossed tight.

“ _ Friends _ . Sure. Right. Okay, then what are  _ we _ ?”  _ Oh, here we go _ , you thought to yourself.

“ _ We’re _ friends too!” He scoffed. “Jeez, I thought you knew that?” His tone was incredulous.  _ That answers that.  _

“I did… until you stuck your tongue down my throat a few weeks ago!”  _ There. _ You said it. It was out there. You could see the gears turning in his head, but they clearly weren’t producing anything.

“That? We were drunk! That meant nothing!” You weren’t sure if he was trying to convince himself of that, or you. You pressed your lips into a tight line.

“Real nice, detective. You tell that to all the drunk victims that walk through those doors?  _ ‘You were drunk! It meant nothing!’ _ ?” That was much meaner than you had intended; this was bringing out the worst in you, and you didn’t care.

“No. Obviously not.” There was a flint of anger in his eyes. “I think you’re blowing this a little out of proportion. It wasn’t my finest moment, but I thought we were on the same page.”

“No Sonny. We are not.  _ I’m _ not the one that made the first move. I’m not the one that was  _ staring _ at me all night. I guess I  _ am  _ the fool who thought that maybe you had felt something more for me.” 

The tears had started to spill out at that moment. They weren’t tears of sadness, rather, they were tears of rage. Rage at yourself for all those weeks you had spent over analyzing what now seemed to be absolutely nothing. Rage at not saying anything sooner, or for stopping his advances all together. Rage, rightly or wrongly, at Sonny for being so flippant about this whole thing. 

Sonny reached out to touch you, but you flinched back.

“Don’t touch me. Not now, not ever.” 

You turned around and started walking away. A small part of you hoped that he would follow you, but you knew he wouldn’t. So you continued on, walking away from Sonny Carisi.


End file.
